Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Some random search in youtube for entertainment after weeks of football

1. gay kungfu scene....

damn funny la.. HK movie blockbuster last time



the attacker disappointed when he found no testicles with the lau ahpek....he just came out fromm a bathtub, confirmla telur dia mengecut...

2. Prison break

now only i realised the michael in prison break last time is some kelefeh in mariah carey's mtv, or i got it wrongly?



next time when i marry, i'll hire a few more bodyguards...see any unknown and suspicious looking guy who hang around the area pukul sampai dia belah...

and the priest look like the millionaire that donated 100 million and dun like House in House Season 1...nola..just joking..where got same..hehehe


3. Very dirty hokkien singer...i saw this last time in friends house in penang during f4, hahaha..now it is in youtube..gila babi



4. After come back from easter trip next month.... I am going to STUDY already!!!!! this song represents my spirit and determination! The monster also got this song in her blog...



the singer is george lam....leehom auntie auntie last time



Ohya...got lots of picture from cardiff and warwick...will post it up later..but as usual...not many scenery pictures...mostly football team pics..hahahah

Friday, March 16, 2007

Teka Teki Teko Teku

What is the thing that gurls only find it useful once a month? But after they use it.. they will come with a big piece of old newspaper segment iklan in tengah tengah wan, and wrap it nicely until u can smell nothing, not the typical crumble type of wrapping, this is the wrapping like the auntie balut ekonomi bihun type..... then they through away in a special rubbish bin, not the normal rubbish bin?

Some of it have wings. Some of it thicker than others....

The answer is
pad...sanitary pad.

U know why i suddenly ask this question? #

Dear Big Bra:

There is one gurl, X bukan nama sebenar. She only come and find me once a month to talk. I always know, when she comes, she always say...i got no friends...no one wants to tok to me, life is so boring....

i knew already wan... I knew it....the day she comes and find me mean only one thing -

It means, she is coming dirty! (excuse me, this "come" is as in the hokkien type of "come", not the ang moh type of "yes...darling... yes.... i.. am coming!!!!!!".)

I felt i am like a pad. THe one with wing one. after 3 or 4 days depends, things will back to normal and X will not come and find me already. Have to wait one month.

Kannineh, boh kang tau beh dunno come and find me wan. COme sure coz sien la...wanna talk la...and usually once a month.

What shud i do Big Bra?

Big Bra: Buy her a pad so dat she will use that pad and not you....


Hehhehehe....

NOla... just joking la. She came just yesterday and with a very swingy mood, very unhappy due to her normal-women- physiology- hormonal- imbalance- monthly- event, but after i told her this joke, that do i look like a pad... . she laft non stop and said that after this wanna come everyday to proof that i am not a pad...

but maybe...she datang haid everyday!!! EEEEWWWWW!

Why everygirl got different symptom wan hor? Like, some is so symptomless that they can forgot when this montly auntie is coming, some is so painful that they cant even stand up... kesian u la girls.

If u felt like really so painful, i can help u. look!

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Gurls out there!

Sick of getting monthly lasam datang monthly? Sick of keep on stomachache, dizzy, itchyness, overall unwellness due to ur auntie's harrassment? Sick of needing to go tesco and buy the 10 for 99p pad without wings? Sick of needing to go through the mental torture of dunno wat u want u just felt like want to slap someone?

Here comes ur solution! Free of charge!

Introducing, Ang Choon Seong Monthly Anti Auntie Harrassment Therapy! No preservatives, no MSG, no coloring, no rubber or any unlicensed chemical! In fact, its 100% organic and 100% biology!

In ACSMAAHT we provide u with the solution.

U will have no harrassment for 12 months! Yes, unbelievable rite.. Its true!

I repeat! ITS TWELVE MONTHS LASAM FREE! Just come to our lab in ang choon seong's room 17/5 teviot place. Bring nothing but yourself! All it takes is one night of standing! then, a few months later, u will have some parasite in ur stomach called fetus. its mild side effect! U can let it become bigger and play the role of single parent or better still, go for small surgery to get rid of it free! (applied in uk only)

U will then have 12 months period of no datang haidness!
Yes, then u are happy like her!
Unbelievable? believe it!


Glosarry:
la sam - dirty things, in this context is the menstrual blood

Auntie coming - means the one of the sisters of ones mother is coming, but in this context is menstruating

Haid - means the menstrual blood



byebye




Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I hate Medical School.

Malaysia Sleeping disease again.

This week marks the 3rd week of my strike against the Medical School of Edinburgh.

Sleep Strike....

Why i am not happy with them?

1. WHy they have to start lecture at 9am?
2. Why the lecture in English? They are discriminating native hokkien speakers like me.
3. Why they never give me morning call?
4. Why there is no attendance taken?
5. Why whether i go lecture or not I still know only one thing, that I still know nothing?

So i decided to write them a letter.



Choon Ang
17/5 Teviot Place
Edinburgh
EH1 2QZ
Scotland, UK
________________________________________________________________

Encik Din
Medical School of Edinburgh
Teviot Place
Edinburgh
EH8 9AG
Scotland, UK

Tuan

Kehadapan saudara Din sekolah medikal yang diharapkan sihat sihat belaka.

Apa khabar saudara? Dengar cerita adik saudara, AlaDin telah menjumpai monyet ajaib di dubai dan kini duduk tikar terbang tapi dalam kapal terbang emirates, menuju sini. TEntu saudara gembira dengan itu. Begitu juga dengan khabar angin yang pakcik saudara, muhyiDin yassin telah bersara menjadi ketua petani negara. Banyak gila kawan kawan Din ya.

Saya sebenarnya kurang berpuas hati dengan tindak tanduk saudara dalam menguruskan kursus perubatan di edinburgh. Saya harap saudara boleh menukar sedikit sebanyak pengurusan dan organisasi kursus demi memanfaatkan semua.

1. Kenapa saudara harus membina bangunan kuliah dan tempat PBL di depan rumah saya? Kerana itulah saya kurang motivasi utk bangun pagi. Bayangkan penderitaan saya apabila alarm clock saya berderingan, 8.40am....saya pikir, ada 20 mins lagi...dekat saja lecture hall...maka saya snooze lagi...8.50am...ohh...10 mins..ada masa lagi....8.55am....ah sempat lagi.... 9am...OH tidak! Sudah terlewat! Pada pandangan saya yang bernas, saudara patut merobohkan bangunan itu dan memindahkan semua lectures to suatu kawasan yang terpencil dan hanya boleh sampai guna helicopter.

2. Kenapa saudara harus menjalankan lecture pada pukul 9 pagi? 9 pagi merupakan masa utk kita memanjat gunung dan kemudian makan dimsum di kedai teh/dim sum. 9 pagi merupakan masa kartun menarik seperti simpsons ke udara. Pada pandangan bernas saya sekali lagi, saudara patut membuat lecture itu setiap satu jam. Ini membolehkan kami orang orang busy utk menrancang bila nak pegi lecture. Jugak, kalau boleh videokan lecture tersebut dan bubuhla kat youtube atau peekvid demi tontonan kami semasa ulangkaji. Nota nota pulak sepatutnya dismskan kepada kami pada waktu yang bersesuaian.

Masa tidak membenarkan saya utk berbual panjang.

Sekian Terima Kasih .

Ang

U know why i used total BM? babi la...coz i m now writing some proposal for some project in malaysia during summer that need to use BM. And i kind of forgot all the words dee... Shit man...

So this is my revision on BM.
Another weird football weekend...

Yo...

Usually hire car and drive to the venue...but this time heeding the call for a greener lifestyle, we decided to reduce the carbon emission and take train. ONe person 35 pounds Edin to Sheffield.

The team to sheffield games, is quite lawak. Altho registered as Edinburgh, only 3 of us are from edinburgh. The other 5 are from elsewhere, Manchester (Acap), Warwick (Akam), London (Chris and Tony) and Sheffield itself (Bonk first, then tukar ..heheheh). Great to know u guys man.
Abaikan Mahat...he came for his sheffield gold medal in chess...babi man...sanggup play this kind of stupid old-retiree-boring game instead of football.

Ok. back to the topic. U know, this team, again is a reunion team. Chris and Tony are from the same uni, IC, but they didnt know they are in the same team until we reach the pitch! Hahahha... Wafi and I ask random ppl to play for us...talent for scouting.

But, we forgot about position. We just asked ppl whether they wanna play or not. So we end up, luckily got one keeper, and all strikers. Hahaha...and, most of us left footers. What a joke! Everytime my team holds ball, u can agak dee...the ball will go left.

Waiting for bus to go to the venue. Organiser said start 8.30am. We waiting for bus at 9am. But i called the organiser dee...

Ang: wei....aku dari edinburgh drive. Sudah sesat...tengah cari jalan. Baru drive 4 jam...so might late.
Organiser: oohh..takpa takpa...orang scotland. Jauh datang. Aku delay game for u. Dun worry.
Ang: thanks wei. Very understanding la u. Thank u.

Hehehehe..i stayed in sheffield that nite la... The einstein theory is correct; the nearer u are, the later u turned up.

Duduk sembang dengan bohsan...

Opening ceremony. Got mayor of sheffield came wan. So ganas. Well done sheffield!

Why isit a weird football experience?

The story is liddat. We drew and lost the first 2 matches. To teams that we r supposed to makan gila babi. Why? hehehe...coz no defender. Then, the other 2 matches got no opponent coz they din come.

So, we got 1 points only i tot, FUCK. Come so far, played2 matches and then go back already! NO!!!! Everyone was so down...so down...so down...no mood to even joke...so different from before we lost the second game. We are so...so...so...pissed off by ourselves.
Then i said to the team;

Ang: I dunno how we could lost this game man! Arrghh. I rather lost gila babi to some good teams like 7 kings compare to lost 2-1 to this team. Fuckman!

Then, i met Han Boon. He said, third placing got chance wat. If u top 4 among all the 3rd placing in terms of points, then mah go tru to round of 16 la.

Then i Count...count.. I got 2 free walkovers...OHHH...6 points plus 1 from the draw! Hahahha...7 points. So happy! We are top among the 3rd placing. But then, shit....we meeting nottingham in the round of 16.

In that game, we play better. We are so way better. But nottingham....being nottingham...they are better than us. But as football is boolat....WE WON! hahahhaa...1-0. One chance one goal. They got like 10 shots on target...kena tiang la...keeper save la...we are so lucky. then we start to act like winners. Take photo la. JErit jerit la. Macam sudah menang medals...bahahahha..lawak bodo...ever watched the stephen chow snooker movie? macam dia la...masuk sebiji tot sudah menang.


All : Wei wei..take take picture...
Akam just at the side : Babi!!! Wei...ambik gambar tak ajak teamate!

hahahhaa..he is just 2 metre away...hahahaha...damn lawak i tell u...everyone forgot about him...
And so we took the full picture of the team....

So we are in quarterfinal. Playing....SEVEN KINGS.

That is the time when i know....7 kings are not really the king. They are not as ganas as ppl said. NOt as power as i thought. I think notts are better than them. I think we play much better than them. We got fair number of chances as them. We hit the post...keeper save and so on. Acap one on one pass bagi kieeper. Hahaha...babi la... They won us by 2-0. Haih..the first goal i deflected it into my own goal. SHit!

Anyway, we go back back with a really happy mood. As i said, i rather lose to 7 kings...i shud have said i rather not lose to anyone and win the championship. hahahha..mimpi.

The team after the game. So happy. U shud see our face when we lost in the group stage.


The dinner in estikutum at night. hahaha...it is tradition by scotland ppl...everytime after sheffield games, must go to this estikutum indian buffet restaurant to spur the indian community economy. 10 pounds beb...

Tram in sheffield....Edinburgh gonna have one a few years later...


Friday, March 09, 2007

The Pretender

I am the guy in the series 'The Pretender'

But instead of being pilot or firefighters, my version of pretender is being a butcher, transporter and muscleman.

My experience being a butcher really ganas. For ur info, my dad was a butcher before but he specialised in BABI. Today, like father like son, i butchered my way through the chicken legs. 15 pairs of chicken leg. One pair into 12 pieces. I think i can now try to go for the butcher job in Medina. You know how much the butcher is paid in edinburgh? 350 pounds for 6 days work per week! Kannineh, dats around 2200 ringgit malaysia. Enough to pay installment for a toyota vios and rumah kos rendah, plus 1 wife with 2 children.
Cut into 12 pieces then debone! Gila babi man! My hand also blister tau...macam bamboo chopping last time.

Ohya, Before i ventured into the industry of butchering, i also work as kuli transporter. Transporting a total of 35 pairs of chicken legs from Alvin's place to my place, some distance of 1km i think only...but...the chicks' leg is not really just the leg we eat in HanChiang Wantan Mee stall...its half chicken around 1 kg per pair. Lemma...damn!


The next day, I have to be a family man. Equipped with an IKEA large blue bag, i followed my bosses to Lidl, Tesco and AiHua Chinese SUpermarket. Lidl we bought like 4 big packs of sugar, 5 big packet of red onion...in Tesco we sapu like 10 packets of spageti, 4 packets of 15 eggs, 4 bottles of big bottles of milk, and so on and so forth. When we come out, i am like a camel....damn!

Then, we went to the chinese supermarket before go back. Wah...one of my boss wants to buy 5 kg of rice, another boss wanna buy a few bottles of kicap, sesame oil and so on. Lemma, damn!

The real boss of the supermarket said," I'll give u a box then." But it is harder for me to take one IKEA Bag and one box. Lemma, so i chucked everything into the ikea bag, and it weighed around like, 3 elephant's baby or 2 pei peis.

Wahlau man...

Malaysian Food Fair. I dun get to eat the food. Pls keep for me ppl. I'll trade with Sheffield Champion Medal. Hohoho

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Meeting the Parents

Ah.. so excited.

Tomorrow i'm going to meet them.

Tomorrow the JPA ppl is coming to make assessment on our needs and review the allowance.

Need to find all those torn shirts and shorts to wear to the dinner. So dat look poor.

Its quite funny tho when i'm trying to fill up the JPA Cost of Living form.

They are asking us to fill in the price of certain things.

Price of Tuala Wanita - ???

Apa ni! Kita orang tarak tuala ar? Then some was saying that jpa shud give more to gurls, coz they need to buy all those tampon, lampin and sebagainya.

Buku rujukan - List the name and the price.

errr.... i m not sure wat to write. well...seldom buy books except monthly subscription of


OK! Magazine


Nuts Magazine - my favourite.


And then ask us the price of certain food here.

Fish - Err...not sure the price. Shud we write:

SOrry bang. Kami tak makan ikan. Tak tau pulak harga dia. Selalu kita makan ikan bilis saja.

Ayam - Err...1.30 pds/kg...that is the one we always buy...the cheapest. I think we shud write the breast meat wan la...4.50 pds/kg

And...tarak babi...ah...selalu kita masak babi. So kira jpa tak sponsor babi ar? Heehehhe

And then got slot of rekreasi and entertainment.

Price of Cinema Movie - ??? i duno la...4.50 pds?

The funny thing is they put there the times allowed.

Times allowed - twice a month

Gehhehehe...they seems to allowed us to watch movie in cinema twice. Hahahahah...i think i am a good jpa students then. I only watch once in my edinburgh stay so far!

Walaubagaimanapun, i m leaving edinburgh at 7pm tomorrow. Going sheffield games. SO might not be able to go the meeting oso. Ah...i'll miss the food. But nvm...for medals!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Double reunion

I was online chatting in msn one day when suddenly one of my senior, han boon nudge me and said he is already in Uk, studying in bradford university for his final year. I was like, ooh..ok.

3 months later, i was short of players to go Manchester piala perantau (no more kerbau...kegeraman sudah habis!). As usual, 11 a side tournament we, the small fraction of football craze from scotland will combine to form a team. 5 from dundee, 5 from glasgow and usually, being the capital of scotland, edinburgh we send 6...making up 16 for the 11 a side tournament. We did dat last year in Warwick Games.

Scotland Warwick Games 2006, (the 2007 pic is still with eidil.)

Last year we lost in final plate (means the lower division of the tournament la) and we got to final without scoring a goal. Play for draw, penalty and we will win. Hhahhaa.. damn lawak.

This time around, we got together to play in the piala perantau. But its very disappointing in football sense due to the pitch, referees and weather as well.

Alright, so we got together, happily chatting almost on everything. Very nice.

Why did i put the title double reunion?

Hehehe...due to edinburgh not enough ppl, i go around and scout for potential players that have no teams.

Then, i remember this han boon in bradford. He was one of the fittest person i ever played football with last time. Born with 2 hearts, one on the left and another one right. hehehe. So i offer him to fetch him in bradford (which is so out of the way) and get him play for scotland. He agreed!

So, when i got him into the car in bradford, he was asking me who is in the team. So i explain the history of scotland team and about the dundee and glasgow. Then i remember one of the players in dundee was my senior as well in free school, which means, oh...is his batch! Hahahha

So coincidence. So i called Larry, the dundee ex frees and let him know that han boon is in our team! Hahahah..

Cant believe it. Imagine, after finishing SPM, Larry went study in IMU, and lost contact already, hanboon in form 6 and i went banting after my SPM....but after 4 years, we are together, coincidentally, playing in the same team , sit in the same restaurant eating fried chicken, sit in the same changing room telling free school jokes to other ppl, and togehter with the whole team bath together in the changing room!

And all that is some thousand miles away!

Free school for the brave and for the true.

Manchester Piala Perantau 07

Bad weekend.

Just came back from manchester piala kerbau...oops..piala perantau

I would like to say this, sorry for the offence mr organiser if u read this;

Throughout my entire footballing life, from the day one i play ball, regardless of what ball, the piala kerbau...oops..piala perantau is one of my worst experience.

The picth...80% mud. It kind of nice u know at first coz reminds me of my old kampung in Yan, kedah. Seriousshit. But that is not the place to play football. Especially when ppl travel from as far as Dublin (fly tau!), Dundee (6.5hrs drive), Glasgow and edinburgh (4.5 hrs), and paid 70 pounds for this kind of pitch!

The ref...the only thing consistent about them is inconsistency. Give penalty but unable to reproduce the result when the same offence done again (for u info, i did both the offence.) Somemore bring gf. whattheheck!

The lineseman...why use the teams in the same group to be the linesman? conflict of interestla kawan. and why use someone who is injured and justified his immobility on that? might as well dun play offside!

There will be some pictures coming up next.

On a happier note, this piala kerbau thing..oops..piala perantau...reunion the old scotland team. Some new faces, some old faces. But still the same, play for fun attitude. Good job. If not of the pitch, altho we might be losing more badly, but at least it is more fun.

THe most worthwhile moments of the weekend, of the 5 hrs drive from edin, to bradford, to manchester, is when we, all the 16 players, from edin, glasgow and dundee, sat together in the chicken cottage, and eat dinner. Altho we are still wearing the soaking wet underwear, the feeling of togetherness and footballism is soaring high.

Nice to play with you guys. Hopefully i'll get the pictures from eidil glasgow and post it up here.

Ohya....

I would like to announce that, the scotland team, aka edinburgh has erased the piala kerbau, or piala perantau from the footballing calender. Save money, save time and save the planet.

PS: to the organising committee....

Buck up committee of piala perantau. Be more organised. Must learn from this man...seriously. altho next year u organise u will still get ppl to participate due to ur long history and location, be more responsible and proactive. Find better pitch, better rules, and better ref. Abandon offside rules if u cant get proper ref. Use the pitches simultaneously. Dun do until final played in the dark. Anyway, good luck and hope u will improve!

Friday, March 02, 2007

Gurlee Talk

Hehehhe...Bodo punya conversation. THis is what we called, buat bodoh. babi betul.








lala


yea?


u know ar...


ang very hansome lo


aih, i tot i told u that already so many times
how come only now realised


yea!


when is he coming london again


i think he is more hansome that anyone else men


i cant wait to c him la


nono


i wont let him golondon already
see must pay wan





aiyo


din say earlier then i wud save money


how


this is so heartbreaking


too bad


the edinburgh so many tourist all wanna see him man


aiya


my program too busy to go edin la


shud just abandon ur study


come edin see him


i'll do dat if i were u


its easy for u to say


u can c him anytime anyday
sure..

Thursday, March 01, 2007

A Monster in Edinburgh

Her english name is Gurr

her surname is Lee

So ppl call her Gurr Lee....

very geli....

Her geliness level is so high that it breaks the gelimeter

She is....


Person-Eating Imp from the Profane Enchanted Isle


Get Your Monster Name



Click GELI to go to her super geli monster blog




Get Your Monster Name

Sexy Name


Charming Handsome One Obligingly Needing Sensual, Erotic Orgasms and Naughty Gratification


Get Your Sexy Name




Hehehehe....