Thursday, April 29, 2010



what have i done all these years.



Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Bye Facebook

I realised I spent far too much time on facebook whenever exam comes near.

So the only option, is...

TO facebook fasting!

Blogger would be my only channel of communication with the outside world now...

ohwell, besides MSN and BBM.


But seriously, I spent so much time on facebook looking at msia most pretty, reading anwar's notes, looking at pictures of random ppl...


STUDY LA! COZ NOW LEFT about 35 my biggest exam!

IN MY LIFE! argharghargh...

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Electives (Part 2)

As promised, this is the second part of my electives story.

2. Lack of passion.

This is the second disease of our civil service I want to talk about.

As we know, the rate of civil servants been fired is exceedingly rare, seldom heard. Usually they are transferred to somewhere else if there's any problem.

So now, if you are a small fry in the office of a ministry and have no power to make decision in things you do, and yet has no danger of being fired for not doing things that you do to the best of your ability;

what would you do?

I think i'll just sit around la.

So thats the root of the problem. Too many people sitting around in the service.

There's no passion about their jobs at all.

And I have a problem with that when it comes to the health ministry, especially the public health department.

99% of the jobs are done by the lower levels, those who has no power of how and what they do. Not only no power, they have no much ideas as well of what they are doing. Because there is not much an interest, or passion to find out what they do.

Those who has the power and knowhow obviously are up there, and are not doing the important yet donkey jobs, but they are also not interested to come down and make sure these jobs are done correctly.

But they need those information the lower people to make decisions. So when the important and yet donkey jobs are not done properly down there, the decision made, would be donkey as well.

It is not hard to understand why no one is passionate about things they are doing.

1. Not much money or very limited chance to rise to a position to get much money.

2. As per above but put "power" instead of "money".

3. No pressure as job's career security is in placed.

4. No respect from anyone. Or lets put it that way, insufficient non-monetary non authority, respect.

Again, i reiterate "they" above are those I refer as those normal, low levels, being commanded, civil servants.

I followed my boss to travel up north, to my home state to "go down to the field" aka "turun padang" to have a better feel and understanding of what is happening at the district level. This boss of mine is a great guy, from Sabah and one of the few success stories who made it up.

I find, not surprisingly actually, that most of the workers we have down the levels of management from ministry right down to the districts, is a bit too chilled.

There is a severe lack of motivation, passion and interest in their jobs. Some of them, obviously i havent seen all of them.

Those who has the above mentioned: motivation, passion and interest, if they are good enough, they would have move on in the career, but then........

STUCK at certain level. THere is no upward movements until you nearly retire.

Maybe if you have political connections the story would be very much different.

And then their low level posts are not filled up by someone who share their passions.

The problem I have with that is that in public health, the work is, sometimes VERY Important.

I dont give a shit about the Work's Ministry workers who didnt refill the holes they dug along Jalan Perak.

I dont care if a clerk in Defence Ministry didnt send in correct figure about the number of helicopters we already had.

I dont really mind if the guy at Transport ministry who got the wrong info about the number of trains we had per population in Klang Valley.

But I give a pile of shit if someone in the health district office didnt check the dengue site properly.

I give another pile of blueshit if the district officer forgot to put the vaccines in the fridge.

I give another diarhoea of shit if the health officer didnt follow-up TB cases and let them spread in the community.

Simple Relax-lah Beb doesnt work that well in Health Ministry, pls.

I think civil service is such an under-utilized opportunity to get things straight in our country.

It is such an enormous organisation, like an elephant, with a lot of power, but is not moving as fast as we would want it to move, not using its power as much as we want it to use, for the good of the nation. very unfortunately.

To make it move, i think politicians has to stop interfering with civil service. Thats like undo the brake.

And then to make it move, i think we have to increase the pay for all civil servants. I dont care where you get the money. Maybe from that 77million you paying for one year APCO service.

And start firing those who cannot move in the service.

Come on policy makers. Civil service is not your playground. and definitely not a non buruh kasar dumping site. Repeat after me. twice.

Good name


Such a nice name.

Scouting for Girls.

Quite nice.

Argh, back to Mitral Regurgitation.

Monday, April 19, 2010


Promise I will study 4 hours cont after this post.

I have been sitting here for 1hour and 30mins reading news and blogs from all over the world.



Will I be lucky again this finals?

Would there be another day when I walked in Popular bookstore and terspot a Kajian tempatan book in Standard 4, and then realised teachers all copy question from workboook for exam?

Would there be another fearless Ang who put a Pelangi geography book in the drawer of his desk and opened them during semester exam and get a prize for the subject?

Would there be an eureka idea again for me to spot the history questions in exam and wrote them before hand and then just hand them in exam and score 25/25 for 3 out of 4 questions, and get a prize for the subject?

Would there be another day of extreme adventure of slick one smooth movement of stapling together the 80odd nilai morals with the question papers and can refer as he wished in the semester exam?

Would there be a second anonymous who accidentally showed me answers for his Physics SPM essay question to spur my idea out?

Would there be a second OwNgau to remind me that I still have a SPM Business and Management paper and actually it had started 10 mins ago, when I had totally forgotten it and ready to go Penang Cafe for chicken rice.

Would there be a second voice from nowhere who told me that you only needing the last essay to be good to get 1119A1 and following that ur SPM English is definitely A1 as well? and therefore just memorize a few modifiable essays?

Would there be another joke for me to be given IB instead of Alevels by JPA because I would definitely fail to secure minimum requirement for english TOEFL for uk med sch?

Would there be another day when I just draw a circle for a first year medicine question asking me to draw the circle of Willis, and get a mark for that?

Would there be another gay consultant who decided to hold my hand, and put it on top of the pacemarker so that I can pass my OSCE 3rd Year?

Would there be another Mr Porter who made me examine hip again and again and then came out in Osce 4 weeks later?

Would there be a second Obs and Gynae consultant tutor of mine who funnily decided to pass me despite me never been to labour ward more than 30 mins? and half the supposing manned osce stations were unmanned because all cons are on holiday?

Would there be another day of me passing medicine because cons incharged are away for holiday and the reg decided to pass me?

Would there be another day of me passing GP just because I can name 3 front desk receptionist?

Would there be another Ang? who reach the last 40 days of medicine course, and over the five years, without properly clerking a single patient more than 15 mins, completed numerous portfolios without seeing the patient's batang hidung, passed all his exams without doing much work at all?

Or there would be another year of medicine for Ang?

I dont know la.

Sunday, April 18, 2010


So much to read.

And this is not revision.

All sounds so new.

Like i never read this before.

How you ever went through four years of medical school oh Ang?


Friday, April 16, 2010

Electives (Part 1)

I wish to share my very rare experience of attachment here. I was with the Ministry of Health in Putrajaya for two weeks before moving to Penang State Health Department in Komtar for the following two weeks.

In effect, my attachment was an extremely rare chance to work within the public sector ie government.

I found, there are three diseases plaguing our civil service (read: country)

1. Institutionalised Inertia

2. Severe lack of Passion

3. Overpoliticking

I called these, diseases of developing countries. And malaysia claimed to be one of the most developed among the developing ones, the incidences and prevalences of these diseases are shockingly astonishing. And these are chronic, infectious diseases with no effective treatment in placed, within sight.

And as I am facing immense examination stress enroute Finals in 46 days, I find writing such non medical stuffs helps. I'll write about the first disease in this note.

1. Inertia.

It is very easy to remember this disease. Our country's name helps. Malas + Inertia = Malaysia.

In the eyes of public, the government servants are all malas (lazy). No, i beg to differ. Not all.

I would say the middle levels are not.

If you think about it, there are about ONE million public servants out there in the service. Laziness maybe affecting some of them, but I think it is the general institutional inertia that is negatively affecting the service.

Everything has to be done in a certain way, at certain speed, involving certain people, and these are not alterable.

Everyone refused to change the way they are working just now, refused to be different.

And bear in mind, I am not talking about black and white protocols, we have great protocols and systems in placed, but no one is following them. But everyone is following the "way".

For example, lets talk about speed.

Now in the civil service, your immediate boss holds a speed limit camera. Not hiding behind trees like our police, but standing right infront of you.

If you work too fast or too effective, faster and more effective than your boss, you are in danger.

because you exceed the speed limit determined by your boss.

You will seen as disrespecting and trying to overtake your boss.

Career suicide committed.

And this has been there in the civil service for ages! Anything done to change this? I dont know.

You might argue the same is happening in private sector? I dont know. But in civil service, it is definitely rampant.

If you get a boss with very high speed limit, then you can do great things at great speed. But then, eventually, you will reach a level where your boss is not as fast as fast as you want. and you have to slow down.

and thats' very depressing.


None at sight. Because, your eventual, highest boss, are politicians.

and these are the slowest, slowest Malaysian, to change anything. Quote me.


Can I be a doctor?

I think the answer is quite an obvious, yes definitely.

Can I be a doctor by this july?

Argh! Thats a bit tricky.

I dont know.

I hate stress, but somehow this stress I am facing right now is, different a bit.

A bit extreme.

I just spent GBP 1000 to buy a return flight for my mum.

If failed...

argh, lets make sure thats no if;s.

I hate this.

Should have taken up Manchester's offer 5 years ago.

They are all doctors already by now.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010