Saturday, May 28, 2011

Morning!

Good morning!

Post-post call morning is precious.

I had one of the most energy-sapping call on thursday-friday.

Didnt get to blink even once and I think I had clerked in the whole of Kuching pregnant ladies.

And obviously made a number of blunders in it.

The theory is always, the more you do, the more mistake you tend to do.

The faster you do, the more mistake you tend to do.

But the slower you do, the more patient you made them wait for hours.

It is always tricky to strike the delicate balance between them.

I guess it is up to the person.

I personally cannot tolerate waiting more than 2 hours for anything, so I would not let my patient to wait for more than two hours, IF POSSIBLE.

I remembered a case.

The wife, age 20 and the husband, age around the same, so unique.

The wife fell and sprained the hand.

My colleague clerked her, and do the necessary.

Then he told me this couple, dont know how to go back to their rented room, odd job workers no money. Came by neighbour's car. neighbour chau liau.

I went down to xray department.

I saw the husband.

I asked him how you two going home later.

He shake his head and say, dunno la doctor.

He reminds me of a young couple who married without a financial plan.

I like him because he has that worry first dad looking. He might be a drug addict i dunno. he might be a robber i dunno.

But i like his worried face. sort of like how so many ppl like mona lisa's idiotic smile.

I gave him 100quid.

- The 100 i earned from taking this extra call.

Charity make you feel, humane.


When you are working inhumanely.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Honeymonths!

2 weeks to go to the end of Obs & Gynae Posting.

Time passed so fast that I cant even recalled exactly what happened over these 4 months, ei no, actually over the past almost 8 months in this land of hornybill.

I dont know if I had changed much over the past 8 months here but hair style definitely had changed.

Appetite changed as well.

Financially more independent.

Need to oncall more, to get more money.

Because;

If there is not much life available for me now, why not make use of the time to enjoy life later on!

Bring it on calls!

RM150 on weekdays call and RM200 on weekends call.

Cant wait to be able to take locum!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Stumbling on Happiness

I recently read a book entitled Stumbling on Happiness.

I truly recommend this book to those who are finding life a bit too hard at the moment.

There is such thing as synthetic happiness, and the author is trying to convince us that the synthetic happiness is as good as the true happiness.

What is synthetic happiness?

Put it simply; The happiness that you claimed when you are not supposed to be happy in the logical sense.

For example, you just being sacked from work and you think to yourself that you are happier than when you are working.

Cheating yourself is what I would be thinking as synthetic happiness.

The author did a couple of behavioural test to prove his point, that our frontal cortex which control our emotions? , i cant remember exactly la, but the thing is that the happiness that we felt when we won lottery is of the same when we felt happy not winning the lottery.

Did I just confuse you?

Get the book. 80 ringgit in MPH.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

May 13

This note is to commemorate the day that was just mentioned by a single paragraph in our history book.

I personally felt May 13 is more meaningful, far more than that of August 31 or Sept 16 combined times 2.

I think that this should be a day for all of us to stop, take a step backwards, and think again, reconsider, and rejustify our own's views and commitments on our country.

Honestly the only tihng I learned in UK throughout my 5 years vacation there, is Malaysia.

I happened to cross paths with a lot of people, and i can summarize all that I know them about their views on our own country into 2 groups:

1. I dont give a damn about politics. It doesnt make a difference to my life, at all.

2. I want to be the next prime minister.

Obviously the kind of views and aspirations we all have is ultimately lies on the person himself, on his type of personality, his upbringing, the amount of political exposure he has, and etc. And rightly so, this is one's personal opinion and rights.

But on this day of May 13, I think we should all, take one backwards and think again, why are we in any particular stand or group? Why are you thinking that you are taking this stand of indifference-i-dont-care or otherwise , or even why you are on the side of pro-government, on the side of anti-government, pro-NGO, etc etc etc.

I am in no way trying to sell the idea that everyone needs to be political active, going down to the street and shout reformasi!

It is not the kind of political involvement I am trying to encourage, and well, I am in no position to do that.

All I ask for is for us to think again the concreteness of our logic when we say the sentence: I dont care, it doesnt make a difference to me!

We might be thinking getting to know the politics ie having a sense of loving this country is so not important now and other more urgent things like getting enough meal on the table is much more important.

Well, yes and no.

Sadly but true, there are a number of people who hated our own country so much to the extent of thinking of emigration or working somewhere else and not coming back to this damn place anymore.

Well my personal thought is that what have we done to rectify this?

Now if we just take a small step backwards, looking around us, then we (at least myself) realize that the truth is, we have to love this country, and we have no choice but to keep her fit, defending her.

I mean just think about you as a damn damn poor guy with a medical problem, government hospitals service is the only thing you will have, and how good your government hospitals depending on how good your country is, which in turn depending on how good the fellas who are running the country is.

Or just think if you have both parents who are not working, and a brother who is a drop-out, all you have is the government schools, and universities and scholarships to take you forward, and that depending on how good your country is, blah blah blah.

I can go on for pages, but the point is,

You cannot run away (famous line by a good friend of mine -of the 2nd type mentioned above).

This is our country, You are born here, You are raised here. You have no choice, you cannot run away from this fact.

Plato chided all those who are not interested in politics ie those who are simply crossing after reading newspaper or attending a ceramah, by definition not voting wisely and rationally, by saying, "Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber"

And he is right. I always think that our leaders today are dumbass.

We are in the middle of no-where as a nation,

and all we care about now is whether when christians are going to take over the country.

I mean, wtf.

I happened to be educated to be much more fluent in Malay and English, with substandard major dialect of my own race - Chinese.

I tell you one thing.

I really hate people: read-Chinese, who thinks that Hah? You are a chinese but you dont know Chinese?

I am a Malaysian Chinese. And I am proud of it.

Chinese clans never give me anything my entire life, it was my country that gave me 1mil to study.

If I know how to speak chinese, it is purely for cultural advantage, nothing to do with my loyalty to my race and how humane i am.

Seriously. Think about it.

I dont know what the future holds for us Malaysians when now all the chinese children are mend to go to chinese schools, then to chinese dominant uni, then stay and breed in chinese areas, mix only with chinese everything everything all chinese.

I dont know what the future holds for us Malaysians when all the Malays only thinking of how fragile the position of Islam as the religion of the federation, or how the young Muslims boys and girls being confused by the word Allah, and actively banning every single unislamic thing around.

I dont know what the future holds for us Malaysians when all our politicians care is whether Anwar cucuk Saiful and melanggan ayam, or Najib screwing Mongolians, or his wife taking over the country.

I really dont know.

May god (whichever applicable) bless us all with wisdom and maturity to grow as a nation.

Monday, May 09, 2011

Overseas medic grad

This is an honest entry for those who are currently studying medicine overseas.

People used to say enjoy while you studying.

It is true. Damn true.

Enjoy working is oxymoron, as working by definition is undesirable.

Enjoy studying is possible, especially if you happened to do well every year in year out.

++++

Working back home in Malaysia is.....honestly, unpleasurable.

The Oncall system is, to me, the worst human idea after gay sex.

It expects a houseman/human to perform at the highest level during his/her lowest point of the day, oxymoron.

We, human, be it houseman or MO, or specialist, or consultant, need to sleep.

We have been trained to sleep. Of course i can stay awake for 36 hours, but I would not be able to perform at the same level for 36 hours.

There will be times I dozed off. Inevitable.

This is what our parents taught us since young.

Eat properly, bath properly and sleep properly. When the time comes.

During oncall, sleeping is not an absolute rarity. It is actually at your own risk.

Honestly, I have not slept, leaving my ward, yet during my past months of active calls.

Reason?

I am a good houseman? I am a hardworking houseman?

None of the above.

I am too scared.

I am scared when something happened, I am sleeping and bosses looking for me.

The other day, I was sleeping during my passive call (thats when you are oncall to go Operation Theater if there's any emergency case)

I missed my boss's phone call.

This boss of mine is very very nice lady. She didnt scold me. She just told me.

At that time, I felt damn bad. I felt I did not earn that 100 ringgit.

Subsequently, believe it or not, I donated the 100bux to charity the next day.

The point i want to make is,

IF YOU ARE COMING BACK,

do not expect anything.

No matter how well you prepared mentally, life is different.

My sincere advice is, if you have to come back, then come back.

You wont die. I didnt die.

But

If you have a choice to choose, perhaps, you should stay there.

Get some professional papers done, then come back to serve as boss. We need more nice bosses who had not gone through hell of housemanships and black old days of insufficient doctors then.

Statistically, you would be a nicer bos, and nicer bos means nicer work done. Trust me. It works that way. At least to me.